A while ago i posted about the Interpol song 'A Time To Be Small' and my truth today follows from that. A time to be something. Arguably everything has its optimum time to exist. We have seasons throughout time just for this. A time for rain, a time for snow, a time to grow, a time to reap and a time to sow. So the truth for today is with consideration to the seasons of a human life. As a result of the dynamic and ever altering moment of the human condition, the seasonal terminology or understanding is less general and predictable. When is it a time for you to be small? Emotionally speaking of course. When is it time to give an endeavor everything you have and when is it not? What are these mysterious seasons in a human life? How do the rest of the creatures seem to have it perfected to something that we can observe and even coordinate our wardrobes and watches too?
The answer is human life does have predictable seasons but the reactions are not as predictable as those of our cousins. How we react to the winters of our lives varies, some would fight it because they would prefer to have it all as a prolonged summer, while others embrace times of lack because they understand that life needs to be this way for a time. I must admit i am not completely of the latter mindset. Lack scares me a great deal. And by lack i refer to times of loneliness, homelessness and general personal deficiency. So what do we do? Do we embrace the loneliness and say: "this is normal, it will pass..." and soldier on? I want to but can I? Admittedly this post was to retain more answers than questions but it seems i have failed. The Truth is that in one lifetime i cannot answer this. I can only give you a truth, the truth that you are not alone in trying to figure out how to react to the seasons of life. The best i can offer is: Try to react as honestly as you can to the seasons. Freak out when you feel like it, Dance when you feel like it. Despair, Laugh, Cry, Sing and Act like you feel like it. No one knows the seasons of life, your life, like you do. Most of all no one can tell you otherwise. No one can dictate how you should react to a particular event or time. Be you, as cliche and watered-down as that sounds. For what it's worth I am proud of you and how you have handled your life thus far and i do not need to know the details. The fact that you are still here and still going means you are doing something right and have earned your place in the universe. You do not have to pay any further dues to anyone else. Seasons change and know this... good or bad. Ask me sometime... Truth and Peace.
For the good of mankind and my favourite band Interpol. Check out "Lights"
Alright... This is the question i found today. Before this becomes a good guy vs bad guy argument, let me clarify the parameters of the answer. We are all different with different prerequesites and capacities. For the record let me say i know people who are polygamous and they are sometimes some of the best and most loving people i know. Personally, i am disgustingly monogamous and it is not really a skill i harness but more a comfortable and natural state of being. At this juncture i'm more concerned with the one and the interaction of relationary preference- monogamy and polygamy, and with this idea of one love for life.
I have had the privilege of seeing both sides of the argument. However, the conversation becomes awkward when i try and defend my polygamy-minded brothers. As a matter of fact, i'm going to do away with that word polygamy and call them free.
Free lovers seem to have an infinite capacity to Love more people than is normal for most. And what is of great significance is that this does not alter their Love for one person when all is said and done. In some rare cases it makes them better Lovers. I must say i am in no way defending people who practice Free Love at the cost of someone elses feelings. That i cannot condone. What my focus is today is that it is what it is and we can spend time trying to change people to see things with monogamous goggles, or we could try to understand how to better have a relationship that accepts a person for who they are and can't help being.
But before i trap myself and pick a side, i will ask a question. Maybe a question you haven't asked yourself. Where we born to only Love one person and that's it? Where we born to Love all? These to questions define what is the limiting factor in understanding infidelity and soul mates. I throw it out. Ask me sometime... Truth.
Now i know this is something heavy to be discussing on a Friday but i guarantee you this is not intended to be a negative or downer post. I'm not into that ask me sometime....
As for me, i have lost a few people in my life, most significantly my parents and subsequently friends, uncles, aunts and cousins along the way. Quite a few when i think about it. And i know most of my family and friends have lost someone too at some point, this a fact of existence we cannot escape it. So people always ask me questions like: What is it like? How are you doing with that? How do you continue and so on? And so today i thought i would answer that question and give a more elaborate account of how it is for me, how i have coped and where we go from here.
Now i will not lie that this is one of those mental gymnastics situation where you tell yourself a few words of light during the event or in the mornings that follow and you are right as rain. The first moments take you. You as you know yourself disappear completely and you embark on this chaotic journey of emotions and understandings that you did not know existed in a human life. What are i remember now is that everything almost zoomed in towards me and lingered in a one meter radius. Simple conversations, simple activities like taking a bath and brushing my teeth, simple body language cues became very heightened and significant. I would guess this was my way of still trying to remain tethered to the here.
After that the pain dissipates as you realize that you are still here. You still have a life to live, work to do, a contribution to the world that still remains you still need to give. And the days start rolling by, however, in the back of your mind, in the core of your being you know something isn't right. This hidden entity surfaces at times and takes you right back to those first moments of the event. I cried, i distracted myself with numerous social interactive actions (You know what i mean, or ask me sometime...), i laughed and then it passed
Following this i found the limbo which i think is the longest part of it all and i still maybe in it. This involves forgetting. Sad to say, forgetting someone you loved and knew. But i think this is normal because your world is now defined by new parameters that exclude the people you lost. The pain now exists as a vacancy. An itch you cant reach. A Feeling you cannot describe, words you want to say but do not need to say. And when that entity resurfaces it does not take you back to that dark time but now you take it to fond remembrances (some of which you may have forgotten or never had thought about ever before), moments that now seem sublime in your memory. And you smile in those dark times and celebrate the fact that you once loved and knew a certain person.
So to say you get over it would be wrong, it is more like you put it in a special compartment and carry it around with you and refer to it when you need to. I miss who i have lost, but at the same time i love who i have around me and i will cherish them now in as much as i cherish those who have passed. We cannot force the past into the present and future, try as we might. I cannot live everyday for those i have lost. Yes i can continue for them but i cannot linger around where they live otherwise i passed on the day they did.
'After'- The after is this. Today celebrate those you have lost and more than that celebrate and appreciate those you still have with you. And look forward to when all will be revealed and we reunite. Quite simply live a life you won't mind sharing over drinks at the end. I don't want to get to my parents and say why did you go, no, i want to get there and say did you see what i did and how i lived?
If you have lost someone and need an ear, I'm here. if you are wondering how to keep it together, I'm here. if you need someone to listen to you remember and share in the life of who you lost, I'm here. And if you feel like celebrating those who have passed and those who are here, then get in touch with me, its Friday we can do something. That includes those who aren't in Thailand with me, we can still have a long distance drink by sharing our intentions. Have a good weekend and if you want to know more, ask me sometime.....Love
"Death's a door That love walks through In and out, in and out Back and forth, back and forth"
Today i had the great pleasure of browsing through my friends work. Nicholas is way more than what you could call a jeweler, He is more of a creator. Check out it his 'work'. While browsing i was overwhelmed by his understanding of the relationship between created and natural form. So i wondered can Love exist without beauty. Even if you remove the aesthetic appeal of meeting a beautiful person and falling in Love with them, what of the instances where you just simply do Love someone without any consideration to how their form appears. In that simplistic righteousness, is there no beauty? I would argue there is, maybe a much more refined and heightened form of it. One that does not need visual recognition but one that you simply know. I Love this person and they are beautiful. If you're lucky one day, in the distant future while in the distractions of relations, a moment will arise where you will become instantly aware of this beauty that you once only knew but now fully recognize. So now i throw out the same question, a survey if you will... Can Love Exist Without Beauty? Ask me sometime... Truth.
On an unrelated relation, there is a Jeweler in Between Me & You Who i may have fashioned around Nicholas subconsciously, here's the scene tidbit:
"Evidently the jeweler, or better named- artisan, had been obsessed with
the paradox of creation and all his life his creations had involved some aspect
of bringing to light the questions of time, purpose and the inter-relatedness of
things. Opposites existed as limbs of a greater whole. Time captured or set
free. Space expanded or made prisoner, and ultimately, the light, which acted
as a genie who granted wishes only in relation to or as a reflection of the true
nature of the author. That needed as opposed to that desired.
Further words and revelations were spilled out and the trio realized that
they shared similar questions and a great Love for Love- the largest question
of all."
So tonight or today for some of you, i have no fancy links but just simple truth. I have been greatly concerned about the relationship between intention and statement. For instance, you wish to tell someone some bad news, what do you make your own energy out to be. Do you fell the negative too or do you fell positive? But that maybe to primitive a limitation to put up. I'm sure we have all watched the water experiments about how certain words project certain energies to water bodies, if not here's a link... Water and thought.... so there you go, i do have one link in this post.
But what is of most import to me is, the thoughts and states we are in before we communicate something and how they affect the reception of the words that follow next. For instance as i write this i am in a state of mild relaxation and openness and i wonder if you will pick it up... Will it be any different to when i write this angry and frustrated. My theory posits that if i focus all the good energies and intentions as i write this then you will pick it up as you read my words.
So what I ask of you tonight is do not randomly speak... especially at important points of reference. Make sure you are in the right state of mind to give the message that you have as your burden. Maybe take a moment to think of who you are sending it to, maybe leave a hostile environment so you can send this message otherwise this might carry. And the ramifications for me extend to music... to poetry... to books.... to movies. Do not just release your words.... Add or alter your intentions to suit your desired effect.... Respect the word. Truth.... Ask me sometime...
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The word of the day was observation and the most appropriate question to ask me is what did i see. Well for me my awareness was different. I noticed what i wanted and needed to notice. But.... My friend noticed a spirit and that changed things. But i will add this... As i spoke to him, six black swans came to say hello. Ask me sometime... They said hello and flew away. Black swans makes me think of thom yorke and that other movie with portman. But what's on my mind is John Galt. Who is John Galt?
Friday, February 15, 2013
So here's what I've learnt today. a hashtag is the key to the world... i knew i was behind coming from africa where a hashtag was something you're pissed off about but i learnt today, what once was aint is no more... i know it's not proper grammar but it's Valentine's i should be allowed a little lee-way. But my message today is the same as always Love is All. Maybe,e i haven't mentioned this before, i was busy promoting Truth.. I may have forgotten about Love. But what i'm saying on Valentine's is this.... What are you celebrating? Is it person? A relationship? Ask me sometime... Truth.
PS- my niece i think i can call her that, Maki is kinda under the weather, positive vibes her way.. Makica dobro vece.....
Happy Valentines to All. What better gift to give than heartfelt words...
"The words arrived in
a moment as a long-awaited guest arrives in the very dying moments of
the affair. For they had been hidden deep and in an inner crevice whose
walls were lined with misconceptions and doubt. There, in those caverns
they hung upside down like bats whose screams had echoed and shook the
mountain for times long. The syllables fell like drops from a leaking
tap in a silent house and with as much weight. As the words reached
their base they resonated in those perfect equilateral arcs. Before the
rings had reached the end walls of their very beings, the rhythm became
repeated almost like a chant. I Love You, I Love You... Resembling those
trance-like chants they held properties of healing and comfort that
spread thought-out their bodies. The effects and results will forever be
my mystery to keep. Again they continued- I Love You, I Love You...
till they calmed into a whisper. And the river surface was still, while
the depths currents raged and groaned...."
"So states of un-satisfaction, objects which we see or which reveal an
absence are the only performances to which the individual recovers in
susceptive uniqueness. The city might fix it or establish it but I see
it an existence of our own as a chance to see what the city must and can
do, without the power to do it. It's all very well and precise to say
that Baudelaire had mysterious wishes to be like the stone in the statue
without posing the ability. You cannot present the poet is eager to
extract some petrifiable image from this of the past. But the images
which he left are situated in a life which was open and infinite in
Baudelaire's sense of the word."
I don't how many of you listen to Interpol or have even heard of them, it's understandable. To those who haven't check them out but i will try to capture some of their energy and distill it for you. To those have heard of Interpol, i wonder if you have heard the alternate version of "A time to be small" which includes a little tidbit at the beginning which is quoted up there for your benefit.
As for me i have always been intrigued by perceptions and how they define or create reality. I found Baudrillard's treatise "Simulacra and Simulation" and found it quite enlightening. Ask me sometime... The basic gist of it is that initially we define what is real and then through media and interaction we reference what is real through simulation. for instance i create a new word to define a chair to someone else. Now that object is real in the most simplest form of the word. However if chairs were to disappear from earth my new word of chair would still persist and now define what a chair is even though they do not exist anymore. But what Baudrillard wonder was what would happen if my word was not able to fully capture the essence of what a chair is, which i think it no doubt would. My new definition now limits what a chair can be in reality. Again, you could imagine that my word only limited the chair to have 3 legs by a misunderstanding or mistranslation of my word then from then on chairs with four legs could exist as chairs. Any how check out Baudrillard's work its kinda awesome and you might understand it better
Now as to Interpol, that quote up there which quotes Baudelaire, i think it greatly intrigues. What defines an object is not always what we see but more a manifestation of an idea or a notion. In this instance a city is not really made up of bricks and mortar but of the people that inhabit and define it and that is what we reference when we say New York is a beautiful city. It is the dance and parade of notions which we have put together that define what New York is for all. But now we find that the reality of New York is not what draws us there. If New York where to cease to be... These ideas would be all we would have to reference and in rebuilding would really capture the truth of what New York was or would we capture something else. So what is real, what is reality- Actuality or....?
Now as to the song "A time to be small", i will say this: it is sung from the perspective of an urchin under a boat observing the going's on of either a father and son or a couple. interesting song, if you wanna give it a listen...
OK pardon me i still haven't slept since the last post, i thought i would but the blood is rushing through my veins like hot magma. This is what it is to be alive and to have something of yourself out there... Hell of a feeling. But now this is not about me. its about us. So what do i have for us today, well now. A friend always tells me be honest but this always works better when i have a question (Ask me sometime...) What i have now is this. I am here to wage war on anything that tells you that it cant be done. I openly declare war on those who would say not like that. This is it, this is my truth.
Appropriately i must give a little background right. a little personal information (Ask me sometime). The only background i have is that i made a choice that my way was my own. i had to live with it. So i throw it out there not just for the sake of pushing books or love like a drug but do you truly believe that there is a you inside there. A you with wings and petals and layers. A you worth fighting for. Worth being yourself for? if your answer is yes then you are who i fight for as well. Who i write for and about. Who i say this to:
And i know there are some folk out there in the motherland without the bandwidth, i got you. That's LESLIE Feist singing. Its in my opinion about the last people to leave a party, the people who believed in it the most, who put their lives on the line for it. There comes a time where you don't want to pioneer things anymore i know this. But we are what we are. We make a choice in those moments. I made a choice ladies and gentleman and her name is forward. Ask me sometime... Truth!!
Alright here goes nothing, my first post. what to say, what to say... Ahh! As i said in most places around this thing- truth and knowledge are the most important cornerstones of this corner's existance. With that said, this first post is not ultimately spontaneous or inspired but instead comes from a place called "about damn time!!" You see i just finished attempting to get published (self and free of course), more on that later, right now i would like to give a little background.
Right around the time i was 15 i began to write- stories, poems, songs, anything i could get my pen around i wrote about and as you can imagine hormones can make a young man very prolific. i wrote quite possibly a hundred stories and over a thousand poems and such, i wont explain why just yet (Ask me sometime) but i wrote it all by hand in this ominously black-covered notebacks which a carried around everywhere at the time.
But before i lose myself, fast forward 8 years and i had 30 or so of these black thingies and i was about to go to bangkok for the first time, ya i'm back there now (that's yet another story, ask me sometime). Being somewhat of a conceited smartass (at the time of course, i'm much better now) i thought why not book my flight from separate airlines so i can avoid the massive stop overs inbetween Zimbabwe and Thailand (Oh yeah i'm Zimbabwean, ask me sometime). So i had it sorted and had reduced my wait times in Johannesburg to an hour (J-burrrrrg is in South Africa for my challenged friends) and in Hong Kong to 2 hours. Perfect i had it all sussed. But then the curve ball happened, jolly trotting with my luggage which contained my black thingies which i knew would make me rich just from they're volume alone, i got on the first plane. Easy peazy flight only lasts about an hour.
In J-burrrrg it turns out i have nothing to be jolly trotting about. My flight had landed late and the other one had had early check in and so i had thirty minutes now to traverse a somewhat poorly designed airport (if you're in a rush) to get to the next one and i missed it. So what does smart-me-then do, nothing.... He comes right down and says oh well it was a good plan what's a night at the airport when you were caught pants down.
So Hong Kong was cool and no hitches, not so bad i thought till i went to get my black thingies, my wealth. Your luggage does not exist sir!! Excuse me!! Funny hahaha!! my black thingies are in there and i'd like to say i worked pretty hard on them. I repeat sir we have no record of you luggage, your tags are for a flight that doesn't exist. When you checked them through to a separate airline they must have done it wrong and left with them or left them behind its hard to tell now. And even if we knew were they were exactly we couldn't track them because stickers are out of wack. Sorry welcome to bangkok, hope you pack heavy in your carry on. I DO NOT. Ask me sometime But the moral of all this is i lost my books, my words, my life's work, my struggle, and yes you guessed it my wealth. Who cares about the clothes and things, you can buy more or not but my black thingies. So for 10 years i've tried to piece back my ability to write, piece back my clothes and things of course, and my wealth hahahaha!! which brings us to today. My book of 10 years went on Amazon, Live tomorrow i think. Its called "Between Me & You- By Kelvin Tendere" Check it, buy it, love it, sleep with it, walk it and cherish it that's my baby who survived a fire (that's another story, ask me sometime). So i guess don't give up and stuff. Don't like ever thing its like the end, you know what i'm saying. Trust that little crazy voice in your head and the trees (Ask me sometime) and walk on. And while you're walking go to amazon tomorrow and buy my precious pretty first born. Ask me sometime... Truth
Smashwords has an advance edition if you really cannot wait till tomorrow. Truth
