The truth for today is about the Nobel prize. It is
seemingly awarded to someone who has made a signigicant contribution to the
world at large in some positive manner. Admirable I agree but that is not my
focus. I mean yes, surely it is at the discretion of the Nobel committee to
nominate and so on someone who fits their criteria and then the award is given
but…. I wonder about that.
I am reminded of a part in The Matrix Reloaded about programs-
Loosely paraphrased it states something to the effect that the programs truly
doing their jobs well, you never hear of. And that gets me to think about
contributions to humanity. The people behind the scenes such as teachers,
eccentric uncles, bizzare aunts and mothers. No offence to the other behind-the-sceners not mentioned. There are millions of people out there who go into
making that Nobel winner great, that didn’t really affect the world at large
directly but did so through what they imparted on this world changer.
As I conceded earlier, the Nobel committee is at their own
discretion, if we want to award a prize to every do gooder we would need more
than one, and more than a day and at the end of it all we would probably give
the prize to everybody, because everyone affects someone in some significant
way. Hold that thought. Why don’t we do that? We have a day in a year for all
sorts of individuals and events, don’t get me started on 420 but why
not have a day were everyone is appreciated. We could call it human day or
something. Free drinks and food for everyone, invite a homeless man in, no
murders and crimes on that day, no broadcasted news that’s negative. How good could that
one day be.
Why must we only acknowledge greatness once a year and only
of an individual. Why not everyone at least and maybe we could turn it into a
week long thing. Just a thought. If you’re interested in forming a new
committee to that end, ask me sometime. Truth, Oneness, Peace. Love.
Now i know this is something heavy to be discussing on a Friday but i guarantee you this is not intended to be a negative or downer post. I'm not into that ask me sometime....
As for me, i have lost a few people in my life, most significantly my parents and subsequently friends, uncles, aunts and cousins along the way. Quite a few when i think about it. And i know most of my family and friends have lost someone too at some point, this a fact of existence we cannot escape it. So people always ask me questions like: What is it like? How are you doing with that? How do you continue and so on? And so today i thought i would answer that question and give a more elaborate account of how it is for me, how i have coped and where we go from here.
Now i will not lie that this is one of those mental gymnastics situation where you tell yourself a few words of light during the event or in the mornings that follow and you are right as rain. The first moments take you. You as you know yourself disappear completely and you embark on this chaotic journey of emotions and understandings that you did not know existed in a human life. What are i remember now is that everything almost zoomed in towards me and lingered in a one meter radius. Simple conversations, simple activities like taking a bath and brushing my teeth, simple body language cues became very heightened and significant. I would guess this was my way of still trying to remain tethered to the here.
After that the pain dissipates as you realize that you are still here. You still have a life to live, work to do, a contribution to the world that still remains you still need to give. And the days start rolling by, however, in the back of your mind, in the core of your being you know something isn't right. This hidden entity surfaces at times and takes you right back to those first moments of the event. I cried, i distracted myself with numerous social interactive actions (You know what i mean, or ask me sometime...), i laughed and then it passed
Following this i found the limbo which i think is the longest part of it all and i still maybe in it. This involves forgetting. Sad to say, forgetting someone you loved and knew. But i think this is normal because your world is now defined by new parameters that exclude the people you lost. The pain now exists as a vacancy. An itch you cant reach. A Feeling you cannot describe, words you want to say but do not need to say. And when that entity resurfaces it does not take you back to that dark time but now you take it to fond remembrances (some of which you may have forgotten or never had thought about ever before), moments that now seem sublime in your memory. And you smile in those dark times and celebrate the fact that you once loved and knew a certain person.
So to say you get over it would be wrong, it is more like you put it in a special compartment and carry it around with you and refer to it when you need to. I miss who i have lost, but at the same time i love who i have around me and i will cherish them now in as much as i cherish those who have passed. We cannot force the past into the present and future, try as we might. I cannot live everyday for those i have lost. Yes i can continue for them but i cannot linger around where they live otherwise i passed on the day they did.
'After'- The after is this. Today celebrate those you have lost and more than that celebrate and appreciate those you still have with you. And look forward to when all will be revealed and we reunite. Quite simply live a life you won't mind sharing over drinks at the end. I don't want to get to my parents and say why did you go, no, i want to get there and say did you see what i did and how i lived?
If you have lost someone and need an ear, I'm here. if you are wondering how to keep it together, I'm here. if you need someone to listen to you remember and share in the life of who you lost, I'm here. And if you feel like celebrating those who have passed and those who are here, then get in touch with me, its Friday we can do something. That includes those who aren't in Thailand with me, we can still have a long distance drink by sharing our intentions. Have a good weekend and if you want to know more, ask me sometime.....Love
"Death's a door That love walks through In and out, in and out Back and forth, back and forth"
